Little Known Music Corner: The Teenbeaters

January 7, 2009

Back in my fledgling days of scouring the internet for new music, I used to have much more sloppy and less refined methods for locating bands on the web.  Mind you, this was back in the days before mp3 blogs (or blogs at all, for that matter), social networking sites, or the massively widespread use of the web as we know it today.  As time has progressed and technology has advanced, it has really become quite easy to stay abreast of new happenings in the music world.  However, it was not always so.

Way back in the dark ages, somewhere around the late 90’s, I became familiar with CDBaby.com, a website that allows artists without a record contract to advertise and sell their CDs.  I can’t remember how I first was drawn there, but it was specifically to purchase an album from some now forgotten band.  After that purchase, I made it a point to visit the site in my spare time and listen to samples in the hope of finding something new, different, and/or awesome.  It was during one of these surfing expeditions that I stumbled upon My World, My Sky, a seven song EP by East Coast band the Teenbeaters.

Formerly members of the Jersey band Ours, singer/guitarist Dave Milone and singer/bass player Zambia Greene  formed Teenbeaters with drummer Kevin McAdams and guitarist/keyboardist Jimmy Asciutto.  Their first and only released recording, 2000’s My World, My Sky is a sick and twisted journey through the dark underbelly of rock ‘n’ roll, with songs about drinking, drugging, fighting, fucking, killing, and eating eyeballs.  Told with sickening grit and dark humor, each song is a filthy ashtray full of wickedness and raw honesty, and maybe a little piss and beer added for good measure.  I was instantly hooked and made yet another purchase from CDBaby.com.

Opening song “ConcreteJungleLove” sets the tone for the rest of this short EP with its tale of sex in the parking lot with a junkie groupie and the ensuing murder of her “faggot Spanish boyfriend.”  Next song “God and Me” tells the tale of a rooftop sniper convinced that the lord is guiding his bullets.  The EP wraps up with the kick ass one-two punch of  “The Damage Done,” a harrowing tale of kicking heroin, and the abuse ballad “Two Hits,” as in “two hits from me, baby/you hit the floor.”  There is a brief hidden track as well, which is a somewhat inexplicably straightforward cover of the theme song to “WKRP In Cincinatti.”  Hidden track aside, the brief but affecting EP delivers a raw, funny, disturbing, emotionally draining listen somewhat reminiscent of Possum Kingdom-era Toadies on a bad acid trip.

Alas, the band apparently lived the life that they sang about, and tales of drunkenness, onstage fights, and general combustibility led to the group’s early demise.  As it stands, My World, My Sky is the only document of a band that could have been great, and it still gets play in my CD player almost nine years later.

The Teenbeaters – “The Damage Done”


The Cult of Snuggie

November 28, 2008

I’ve always wondered how people get sucked into cults. What takes you from Joe Sixpack sitting on the couch watching Monday Night Football to drinking poison Kool-Aid in some jungle shack with 500 other people. I think I found the answer, they call it………The Snuggie.

It even comes with a futuristic LED mind control device disguised as a reading light (*batteries not included).

Here’s the TV commercial….

Now watch it again, this time with the subliminal messages and music exposed. See the true and terrifying majesty of the LED pop up mind control device…….

All praises to the Cult of Snuggie (Kool-Aid sold separately)


Black Friday

November 28, 2008

Happy shopping!


Stunt Rock! Death Wish at 120 Decibels!

November 24, 2008

stunt-rock-posterA few years back, I was at the Alamo Drafthouse (our local beer-serving, food-serving, movie-showing slice of heaven) for a special event.  Showing quirky old trailers is an Alamo tradition, but one out-quirked just about anything I’ve ever seen.

It was for Stunt Rock.

What is Stunt Rock?  Well, it’s what happens when you make a movie about a stuntman and a rock band, of course.  Isn’t that obvious?

And not just any ol’ rock band–the rock band Sorcery, who live up to their name by having a guy dressed as Merlin on stage making explosions.

Oh, hell, I can’t possibly describe this thing.  Just watch for yourself.

Stunt Rock!

I really wanted to write some hilarious, snarky commentary about this–but I just can’t.  Anything I would write would pale so much in relation to the trailer itself that I’m not even going to try.  Some things can speak for themselves, no remarks from me necessary.

Stunt Rock!

The sheer, unadulterated awesomeness of this trailer created quite a buzz in film geek circles when it was rediscovered, and as a result, this bizarre obscurity is getting a DVD release on March 31st of next year.

Sorcery seems to still exist in some form or other–they’ve got a website, anyway.  Director Brian Trenchard-Smith has kept busy doing exploitation films and TV movies, including a few that horror fans have likely heard of, such as Leprechaun sequels and Dead-end Drive-in.  Star Grant Page worked on Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and is still active in the stunt field.  I wonder what they think about this forgotten oddity suddenly getting attention decades later?  Maybe the DVD extras will tell us.

Stunt Rock!


Star Terk

November 23, 2008

I accidentally typed “Star Terk” into Google and found this.

I also founds someone’s blog post titled “Star Terk 11” to which I replied “Star Terk 11 is going to be awemose!”


A Late Tribute to the Late, Great Ol’ Dirty Bastard

November 21, 2008

I remember it like it was yesterday. After a long flight home from 9 days of snorkeling with swimsuit models and trespassing on the “Lost” set in Oahu, I was picked up at LAX by my dear friend, and fellow Wu-Tang enthusiast JJ. He gave me a hug and I threw my carry-on in the back of his car and we took off. No “how was your trip?” or any of the usual cordial greetings just a minute of silence as we navigated our way out of LAX and onto Century Blvd. I had just spent 8 hours on a red eye from Hawaii. I had left at 11pm local time and arrived at LAX at 7am with a splitting hang-over from one too many rounds of Saki at a Japanese bar in Waikiki the night before. As we jumped onto the 405 North to get back to West Hollywood where I left my car, he looked over and asked me: “Did you hear?” “Hear what” I replied. “Did you hear Ol’ Dirty Bastard died?” “Awwww shit!” then silence until we reached Crenshaw.

Russel Tyrone Jones aka Ol’ Dirty Bastard, ODB, Big Baby Jesus, Sweet Baby Jesus, Dirt McGirt, Dirt-Dog, Osirus, Ason Unique, Unique Ason, Joe Bananas, Peanut the Kidnapper, and of course, Old Dirty Chinese Restaurant would have celebrated his 40th birthday last Saturday (Nov. 15)

Instead, he passed on two days shy of his 36th year on planet Earth.

Here are a few of ODB’s dope-lyrics that defy all logic and reason. He was truly one of a kind and there will probably never be a motherfucker as insane as Ol’ Dirty Bastard.

“Dirty? I keep shit-stains in ma draawers so I’s can get phresh and phunky for you!”

“Foos be acting like their gangs anyway be like Warriors come out to Play-ehh!”

“Please nigga, I’m immune to all viruses; I get that cocaine, it cleans out my sinuses”

“I kill all the government microchips in my body; I’m that paranoid nigga, at ya party; I kill all my enemies at birth; SHUT THE FUCK UP, bitch and let me stick my hands up your skirt.

“Keep it nappy or braided up. Dirty in the cockpit, blazin’ up”

“What y’all thought y’all wasn’t gon’ see me? I’m the Osiris of this shit!”

“Y’all know they had the ODB locked down, right? Well, I’m here to tell you that they can’t keep me down. Now I’m free, and I’m out there like a bird flying around, so y’all better leave some birdseed on your windowsills, because I may be flying by your house” – This was while performing onstage with Wu-Tang Clan after escaping from a rehab center, right before rushing offstage due to the arrival of authorities.

“Shimmy Shimmy Ya (Extended Version)”

[Intro:]

Oooh baby I like it raw
Yeah baby I like it rawww
Oooh baby I like it raw
Yeah baby I like it rawww

[Verse One:]

Shimmy shimmy ya shimmy yam shimmy ya
gimme the mic so I can take it away
off on a natural charge bom-voyage
yeah from the home of the doge brooklyn scwad
Wu-Tang killer bee’s on a swarm
rain on your collage ass disco dorm
for you to even touch my skill
you gotta put the one killer bee and he ain’t gonna kill
now chop that downpass it all around
lyrics get hard quick cement to the ground
for any em-cee in any fifty two states
I get psycho, killer, Norman Bates
my producer slam my flow is like bamm
jump on stage ah then I dip doown

(I like the way you talk)

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

Oooh baby I like it raw
Yeah baby I like it rawww
Oooh baby I like it raw
Yeah baby I like it rawww

[backwards verse incorporating part of Verse Two]

[Verse Two: (additional extended verse)]

See, when a nigga say he likes it raw
He means dirty, down to the floor
see my name is the Ol’DB and I’ll beat your ass

for the ladies who know me tell them who the fuck I be
for the niggas who know me tell them who the fuck I be
my style comes down on ya’ll like rocks
by the doc
umm by the flock
by the creak by the flock
got east coast locked down padlocked
my sulu be all all down by the flock

[Chorus: repeat 2X]
[Verse One: repeat]

Yo ya’ll know the lyrics come on sing with me

[Chorus: repeat 2X]


Saved By Zero – The Jingle That Kills

November 21, 2008

For those of you that hate the worst jingle EVER as much as I do, here ya go:


Live Fleet Foxes Video From Paris

November 13, 2008

Here’s a video of Fleet Foxes performing tunes culled from their Sun Giant EP and their self-titled full length on La Blogothèque’s “Take Away Show.”  They’re performing outside and inside of Le Grand Palais in Paris to replicate that cathedral sound of their two releases.  Such a great band…

Also, if you’ve never had the pleasure of viewing the “Take Away Show,” there are some awesome performances there.  My personal favorite is Beirut busking on the streets of Paris.


Post-Election Thoughts: How Can We Change America?

November 12, 2008

It has been almost a full week since the presidential election, and many Americans, along with the media, are still digesting what was an historic, sometimes bitter, sometimes polarizing, and always interesting campaign from both sides.  There has been much discussion over the past week about what this election will mean for the future of America, and the debate will no doubt continue all the way until the next election cycle begins and beyond.  Such is the state of politics today.

While the pundits ramble on and Joe Six Pack and Jane Diploma argue in bars, workplaces, and at dinner tables across the country, what concerns me most is whether or not the American public will be able to pull together and work to make the changes that this country is so obviously hungry for.  Overwhelmingly, voters in this latest election have voiced a powerful rejection of the status quo, characterized by the last eight years of the Bush administration and, up until two years ago, a solid Congressional majority held by the Republican party.  Notice that I said that this vote was more a rebuke of the current administration rather than a wholesale approval of the incoming one under President-elect Barack Obama.  I strongly feel that, while Obama carried a more than comfortable majority of this country’s electoral votes, many Americans across the country were more expressing their disapproval for the Republican control of the last eight years than giving Obama a “mandate” to do whatever he likes.  To put it plainly, a lot of people were voting against the policies of the old guy more than voting for the new guy.

I hold strong hopes that Obama and other politicians will realize this fact and govern accordingly when they take power.  Obama has stated in several speeches, including his beautiful and inspiring acceptance speech, that we will all have to work together to change things in this country, implying that we are all Americans first, before any political party.  John McCain expressed similar thoughts in his gracious concession speech, stating that he is looking forward to working with Obama to help change this country.  Even Nancy Pelosi, a Democratic figurehead of partisanship in the eyes of many, was quoted today as saying that Obama needs to govern “from the middle” in order to be an effective leader.  It is my hope that Obama will live up to his promises and work with all sides, and it is my equal hope that his opposition will reach out and accept compromise for the good of the country in front of their partisan loyalties.  This is no small task, but it is necessary if we are to see any change in the way America is governed.

What I have stated above is nothing new, as these ideas have been tossed about for centuries with little actual result other than the same old partisan bickering and gridlock for which American government has become notorious.  I believe that we as citizens of this country need to be the ones to take the first steps in order to show those that represent us how it’s done.  If America truly wants things to change, we need to first make changes in how we interact with each other in our everyday lives.  We need to let go of the past and focus on the future.  Let’s forget about what Bill Clinton did in the Oval Office, let’s let go of Bush’s bungled “Mission Accomplished” photo op.  What we as a nation should concern ourselves with now is letting go of the things that divided us in the past and focus instead on how we are going to work across any lines that divide us to improve our country and reclaim our place as the shining light of freedom and opportunity throughout the world.

There are some people on both the radical left and far right that will never be changed.  The Limbaughs, Hannitys, and O’Reillys will continue to espouse their partisan criticisms of anything that the Democrats do, and the Air America crowd and PETA members will continue to invoke the name of George W. Bush for years to come when the Republicans try to make their voices heard.  However, those of us that reside much more closely to the middle are the ones who are being overlooked.  A vast majority of Americans do not identify with the extremes of either side of the aisle, and yet we are continually presented with candidates that represent those small but intensely vocal minorities.  Such is often the case in politics: the moderates are drowned out by the kicking, screaming, and gnashing extremists.  What we need to do as moderates is learn to make our voices heard.  Even though we have given the Democratic party a healthy majority in both houses of Congress as well as control of the Executive branch, we must still be willing to take the Democrats to task when they are not representing the true will of the people.  We must allow the Republicans to voice their dissent and work with them to reach successful compromises that represent the best for all citizens of the nation.  President Obama will need to work from the middle, just as Clinton did for much of his administration, a fact that many forget.  Finally, we must realize that, Democrat or Republican, this congress and this president now represent us all, and the only way anything will get done is if we set aside our differences and work together to fix the mess in which we currently find ourselves.

As we all know, one major reason that this election was so historic was because it marked the first time an African American has been elected to the office of president.  This is a huge moment in race relations in a country that has experienced bitter turmoil throughout its history.  For the last week, we have seen daily reports about the mobilization of the black vote, interviews with civil rights leaders past and present, and debates about how America will adjust to being represented on the world stage by a black man.  We’ve also witnessed unprecedented celebration and praise heaped upon the American people for taking the huge step of electing a minority to the presidency.  It has been an amazing thing to watch, one which I didn’t think I would see in my lifetime, and I’m proud of what we have shown the world and done as a country.  We have restored and solidified America’s reputation as the country where anything is possible.  The next step is to stop talking about it.

Racism is still alive in this country, and it is foolish to assume that the election of an African American president will magically end it all.  However, we need to begin to erase the question of race from our consciousness.  The media needs to stop referring to Obama as “the first African American president” and instead refer to him as just “the president.”  I absolutely do not wish to downplay this exciting moment in history, but it’s time to take the next step in healing the wounds that racism has caused to this country.  If the media and we as Americans continue to focus on the race of our president, then we are propagating the idea of race as a division between us.  Let’s stop talking about this election in terms of race.  We have shown that this country is ready for a change in the way we view our citizens, now let’s make that change.  Let’s no longer be Anglo-Americans, African Americans, Mexican Americans, or Asian Americans.  Let’s just be Americans.

It’s time for us to change the way that we interact with each other.  I was reading a commentary on cnn.com the other day written by Ruben Navarette.  Mr. Navarette has been a vocal opponent of the Obama candidacy for the majority of the election cycle.  However, he wrote a piece the other day that expressed congratulations to the new president-elect and how Barack Obama’s victory is good for America.  Some readers of cnn.com immediately began attacking Mr. Navarette as a “Johnny Come Lately” and accusing him of “jumping on the bandwagon.”  Stop that.  How can we come together if one side extends a branch of peace while the other spits on it in reply?  On the other side, I also saw commenters on foxnews.com making racial jokes about Obama at the bottom of an article about Sarah Palin.  Stop that.  There’s no room left for that kind of bigotry in the America of the future.

I don’t want to hear anything more about either side “stealing elections.”  I don’t want to hear about “socialism” invading our country.  Please don’t invoke the name of George W. Bush or Bill Clinton to condemn those that you voted against.  I don’t want to hear Obama referred to as a “terrorist” or a “Muslim.”  I don’t want to hear Sarah Palin called “stupid” or “airhead” or “Caribou Barbie.”  I don’t want to hear conservatives referred to as “fundies” or “rednecks” or “Bible beaters.”  I don’t want to hear liberals referred to as “pinkos” or “communists” or “libtards.”  Please refrain from spreading hateful jokes and lies under the anonymity of the internet.  Please do not refer to anyone with views that differ from yours as “unpatriotic” or “un-American.”  Please don’t refer to an abstract way of life as the “real America.”  All America is the real America. 

Put away your anger, fear, and resentment and make a positive contribution to your nation’s future.  We have spent far too long as a nation divided, and we won’t be able to stand much longer if we continue in that direction.  Let’s come together and make this nation and this world a better place to live for everyone.  I’m ready for a new level of political discourse in this country.  I’m ready to raise the bar.  Are you, America?


Veterans Day 2008

November 11, 2008

The last time I had to fly somewhere, I arrived at the airport too early.  To kill some time, I went to sit outside and enjoy a bit of the beautiful Austin day before going through security.

I was just sitting down when a woman’s voice came over the loudspeaker.  She announced that a flight that had just landed included a soldier returning home from Iraq.  As I was outside, I didn’t hear if there was any applause.  I assume there was.  I hope there was.

I looked up from the bench I was sitting on, and in front of me were a young man and woman having a cigarette together, standing next to her car in the drop-off lane.  The young man was in uniform.

They finished their cigarettes, then stood there next to the car and held each other for a long time.  Finally, they separated.  She drove away slowly, and he entered the airport to fly somewhere.  Somewhere away from his loved ones.  Maybe somewhere dangerous.


Rick Roll’d… in Binary

October 30, 2008

Not to go WAY overboard with MTV related posts, but I couldn’t resist blogging about this one.  Apparently a Rick Astely fansite came across some binary code embedded in the countdown site to the MTV Eroupe Music Awards show.   The source code just so happened to translate to Astley’s lyrics: “We’re no strangers to love / You know the rules, and so do I.”

 

I don’t know who’s the biggest dork here… the MTV Europe website guy for putting the binary lyrics in the site… the Rick Astley uber-fan for combing the internets for mentions of Astley AND translating the binary to text… OR me for thinking it’s hilarious and photoshopping the above pic.


Mr. Show – “Monster Parties: Fact or Fiction?”

October 30, 2008

In keeping with the Halloween Week theme, here’s an awesome clip from Mr. Show that skewers goofy novelty recordings like “Monster Mash” as well as their champion, Dr. Demento