American Idol, 2009 – Episode 38 (5/13/09)

Idol Logo(Live blog, spoilers, and our weekly poll results below the fold. It will actually be a DVR blog tonight.)

I try to avoid song spoilers, but I was on some site and, out of the corner of my eye, caught that Danny Gokey would be singing “[Something] Little Sister.” I scrolled down quickly to avoid learning more.

It didn’t occur to me that it would be “Dance Little Sister,” although it should have. The only song I could think of called “[Something] Little Sister” was the one embedded below. I knew that was preposterous, but how awesome would it have been?

“Cry Little Sister” by Gerard McMann (The Lost Boys soundtrack)

With that nonsense out of the way…

Who Should Go Home

Danny Gokey. As I wrote in my power rankings post for this week, if there’s a more overrrated contestant in the history of Idol, I can’t think of who it might be. Danny has either put no effort into actually learning how to sing like a pro, or is incapable of learning. I suspect it’s the former–unwarranted praise can do that to a person.

Who Will Go Home

Danny Gokey. Wishful thinking? Quite possibly. But here’s my logic:

Danny’s fan base started out huge, and has remained huge. But I don’t think he’s attracted new fans. I believe every elimination (with the possible exception of Scott MacIntyre) strengthened the fan base of a contestant who was not Danny. Recently, Adam has picked up most of the Allison fans, and Kris has picked up most of the Matt fans. It is entirely possible that these fan bases have grown large enough to push Danny down to number three and out of the contest.

The fact that Kris completely upstaged Danny last night did not hurt this prediction at all.

Am I right? Let’s find out. Poll results below the fold at 8:00 Central. Live DVR blogging, results, and, of course, spoilers, below the fold when I get a chance to watch.

Poll results from last night:

Best Overall

  1. Adam Lambert (57%)
  2. Kris Allen (31%)
  3. Danny Gokey (12%)

Best Individual Performance

  1. Kris Allen – “Heartless” (40%)
  2. Adam Lambert – “Cryin'” (25%)
  3. Adam Lambert – “One” (18%)
  4. Danny Gokey – “You Are So Beautiful (13%)
  5. Kris Allen – “Apologize” (4%)
  6. Danny Gokey – “Dance Little Sister” (0%)

Worst Overall

  1. Danny Gokey (67%)
  2. Adam Lambert (18%)
  3. Kris Allen (15%)

Worst Individual Performance

  1. Danny Gokey – “Dance Little Sister” (56%)
  2. Kris Allen – “Apologize” (15%)
  3. Danny Gokey – “You Are So Beautiful”/Adam Lambert – “One” (T-9%)
  4. Adam Lambert – “Cryin'” (6%)
  5. Kris Allen – “Heartless” (4%)

Off to a rock show. DVR-blogging and results when I get back!

Back! Live DVR-blogging comin’ atcha!

We open with a cross-promotion of Ben Stiller and a bunch of other guys pimping the Night at the Museum sequel. The Idol desk is going to the Smithsonian? Hell, yeah! My blogging and unsolicited opinions are important! Because this show is important!

Ryan announces 88 million votes, and promises a surprise. Everyone knows what the surprise is except for me! Damn DVR blogging!

But I won’t cheat. I will do my job and watch awful stuff like the Ford music video of “Break My Stride.” Someone actually remembers this song, or is there some “ironic” cover version out there that I am blessed not to know about?

Alicia Keys is here to tell us about a ridiculous conspiracy theory. OK, not this week. She’s promoting a charity. That’s a better use of your time, Alicia.

Noah, a kid from Rwanda, is our first guest. His song is a blender job of Jamaican and African motifs, pureed for a pop audience. They throw in a totally out of place hip-hop breakdown, to make it “contemporary” instead of Musical Youth or something.

If you’re feeling generous, text 90999 and you will be billed $5 to benefit Keep a Child Alive.

After the break, I see Allison in the audience. I love you, Allison!

Danny Gokey comes up first. And the woman with the sign that says “Danny, This Cougar L♥ves U!!!” is back in the studio audience. Not creepy at all.

Danny talks about going back to Milwaukee (Go Pack!) and seeing his buddy Jamar Rogers again. I miss Jamar, too, Danny. I wish he had made the top thirteen instead of you.

Here’s our limo stuff, and Danny referencing his poor deceased wife for the first time in weeks by talking about tragedy and triumph. The statute of limitations has run out, Danny, so that’s OK.

It’s all very sweet, and for one brief moment, I don’t actually mind that Danny puts the cheese in Wisconsin. Nice manipulative work, editors!

It’s a good thing Danny’s a singer, because he’ll never be a pitcher. I bet Adam could do better than that, and I doubt Adam’s ever thrown a baseball.

Kris Allen gets his moment in the spotlight next, with a featurette on his trip back to Arkansas. My extended family lives in Arkansas. I should ask them if everyone is stoked.

He’s got a massive crowd in Little Rock, and after an appearance there, heads to home town of Conway. His dad’s wearing sunglasses so no one can see him cry, but it doesn’t help–he can’t hide losing it.

As a small-town boy myself, I love seeing the whole town, and thousands of people from surrounding towns, come out for something like this. Someone from L.A. in his position would not get that experience. Ask Katharine McPhee. If memory serves, she had her reception in a small high school gym without all that many people in attendance.

Good to see Jordin Sparks again. She’s doing her new song, “Battlefield,” which can’t possibly be as awesome as “Love is a Battlefield.” I’ll try to keep an open mind anyway. It was co-written by a dude from OneRepublic.

Jordin looks great in all of her plus-sized glory. The song is hooky and melodramatic and full of guilty-pleasure delectableness. Strangely, one hook reminds me of a Ryan Adams song that I can’t quite place right now. The lyrics clearly reference the Pat Benatar song, earning extra props. It’s going to be a huge hit.

I can’t help but wonder what it would have sounded like had Allison sung it.

Back from the break, we get to Adam Lambert. He’s back to San Diego, and showing off his snakeskin boots on the morning news.

Then he counsels the youth (God help us!) and then goes back to his old high school. You’ve already seen the crazy near-naked chick, so no need to go into detail.

Off to entertain the troops in this military city. He’s doing make-up work for desecrating the National Anthem before. Better late than never.

Off to the break, and now we’ve got to sit through Katy Perry. I don’t like Katy Perry.

Anyway, her new single is called “Waking Up in Vegas.” Go to YouTube if you want to see her performance. I’m not going to bother to describe it. It’s painful enough to watch and hear without having to write about it, too.

Back from the break! The moment of truth.

Please, let it be Gokey.

First person through is…Kris! Can’t say he didn’t earn it.

Danny or Adam? Adam or Danny?


The Gokey Machine has stalled!

Kara is mouthing, “Oh my God!” Well, apparently, Kara, it took America too long, but she eventually saw through the judges’ Gokey-pimping bullshit.

And my prediction was right, I might add.

I have no ill will towards Danny, and I wish him all the best. But if the finale couldn’t be Adam and Allison, Adam and Kris is right.

God Bless America!


2 Responses to American Idol, 2009 – Episode 38 (5/13/09)

  1. Jason Austinite says:

    Okay, I will fully admit that Mike must be smoking crack to have constantly praised Gokey, but I think you may have borrowed his glass pipe if you actually liked Jordin’s song. That was a pile of shit.

    • What can I say? Sometimes I love me a gigantic cheesy pop epic, and I think “Battlefield” is a good one.

      Remember, I’m the guy who included that Leona Lewis song in his “Best of 2008” post…

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