(Analysis below. Live blog and poll results below the fold once the show begins.)
The judges tried furiously to throw poor Kris under the bus last night–lousy slotting, undeserved slams. But try as they might, they couldn’t fool the audience into thinking that Danny Gokey’s solo performance was anything but a disaster. Within moments of the event, the Gokey Scream was already the stuff of Idol legend. Check out this hilarity:
Will it be enough to keep Kris alive, or even send Danny home? I seriously doubt it.
Who Should Be in the Bottom Two
- Danny Gokey. After weeks of lazy performances, some ambition last night should have been a welcome change. But ambition should match ability, and his spectacular failure should not go unpunished.
- Kris Allen. I like Kris, but I love Allison and Adam. There can be only one, and it shouldn’t be Kris.
Who Will Be in the Bottom Two
- Kris Allen. His performance was adequate, but adequate will not be enough to save him. If he was going to have a prayer, he needed to be spectacular. He wasn’t, so it’s the end of the road.
- Danny Gokey. It’s probably ridiculous for me to go this far out on a limb since Danny’s fan base seems to be vast, but with Adam and Allison soaring, this may finally be the week where Danny has a humbling experience.
Can the Gokey Machine be stopped short of the final? If it’s going to happen, I think it’s this week.
Live blogging and our weekly best/worst poll results below the fold once the show starts at 8:00 Central.
I’m hoping for the best (Gokey) and fearing the worst (Allison). Am I nervous? You bet your sweet bippy. Because of this, it’s time for me to bust out my lucky Allison picture. It hasn’t failed me yet!
Before we get rolling, here are our official poll results.
- Adam Lambert (61%)
- Allison Iraheta (21%)
- Kris Allen (9%)
- Danny Gokey (8%)
- Danny Gokey (63%)
- Kris Allen (26%)
- Adam Lambert (8%)
- Allison Iraheta (1%)
- Allison/Adam (82%)
- Kris/Danny (18%)
Now, let’s get to the show!
Nice work editing the intro this week. The pro wrestling feel is starting to grow on me. (A little Allison pimping may have slightly influenced my view of the intro.)
Man, Kris looks nervous. Can’t say I blame him, as nearly every pundit out there, plus Dial Idol, has him picked to go home.
Our musical guests for The American Idol Variety Hour are No Doubt, Daughtry, and…Ms. Paula Abdul! I haven’t heard her new song yet.
Our group number is Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out,” featuring Slash on guitar. They’re barely letting Kris on camera! Poor kid. Both Kris and Gokey are slightly more convincing as rockers on this song than they were last night, which isn’t saying much. And Slash is awesome.
Back from the break, Ryan does some pointless interviews with the contestants. But he did bring up The Scream! Danny’s got a sense of humor about it–he says he was laughing the whole night after watching it back and that he’s heard that people are using it for ringtones. I wish I had thought of that…
And here comes Paula! “I’m Just Here for the Music” is the name of the song. Needless to say, it’s autotuned all to hell and I think it’s safe to guess that she’s lip syncing, since the choreography is complex and is the main point. It’s no “Straight Up” or “Rush, Rush,” but I suppose it’s OK for this sort of thing. I do wish she’d dressed a bit more modestly. After eight years of sweet, nice Paula, naughty Paula creeps me out a little bit.
No Doubt joins us next, doing “Just a Girl” for some reason. No new material to pimp, guys? Gwen Stefani is doing an outstanding Spider-man impersonation, stretching her arms like she’s slinging webs. Then she starts doing pushups for reasons known only to Gwen. Then she starts running around like a decapitated chicken, and she can’t sing and run at the same time. At least it was energetic.
Cut to the break, back with results.
We start the process with a montage of homecomings, to rub in the cruelty that one person isn’t going to get the parade and the key to the city. Why they keep showing Blake Lewis is beyond me. They do show Elliott Yamin’s recently deceased mother, which is nice. Everyone loved her–rest in peace.
If I understand Ryan right, we aren’t going to find out who the bottom two were, just the bottom one.
They are really going to string this out.
The first person sent to safety is…Kris! He nearly loses it right on stage, he’s in so much shock. I share his shock. And I’m very, very worried.
Before we find out anything more, we get Daughtry. They replay the Daughtry shocker–I had forgotten just how crazy that was, and the clips really drive it home.
His new song is called “No Surprise,” a breakup song. It’s your standard Nickelback-type fare. Likely a hit.
Now it’s the moment of truth. This is as nervous about a results show as I’ve been in eight years of watching.
And the second person safe is…Adam. So it’s down to Allison and Gokey.
NOOOOO! NOOOOO! NOT ALLISON!
This is so wrong. And I am so angry. Screw you, Gokey.
Allison, you are my favorite contestant ever. I loved watching you this year. Next week just isn’t going to be the same.
And she knocks “Cry Baby” out of the park again. Why on earth would anyone vote for Gokey over her? Why would anyone vote for Kris over her? I do not understand.
Love you, Allison! Now, go make a great record. I know you can.