I’m not sure if my results post will be late tonight or not–a certain co-blogger of mine is getting married this weekend so I’m pretty busy with wedding-related obligations. On time or not, the results post will appear below the fold whenever I get a chance to watch the show.
But I can at least do my predictions on time.
Who Should Be in the Bottom Three
- Lil Rounds. With all of the practice and coaching, how does a singer get worse every week on this show? Status quo is expected at a minimum, with improvement seeming more likely. Not with Lil. She’s absolutely flailing and I think it’s time that I admit that I was wrong about her–she isn’t very talented. In more oppressive countries, what she did to “The Rose” would be a hanging offense.
- Matt Giraud similarly looks like an amateur. Last night he took a mediocre song that has been done well before (by Chris Daughtry) and sank it like the Bismarck.
- Danny Gokey. The enthusiasm of the voters and judges for this guy seems less warranted by the week. He demonstrates that he’s happy to take on the role of Cheesemonger in Chief now that Scott is gone by singing “Endless Love,” with a vocal that even Scott could have delivered better.
Who Will Be in the Bottom Three
- Matt Giraud. How he’s stuck around this long is a mystery to me–he and Kris have the same target audience, but Kris is much better. I imagine mass defections are happening. If we can’t get rid of Lil tonight, which I don’t think we can, Matt’s fine by me on the chopping block.
- Allison Iraheta gets in trouble whenever she’s less than perfect. She was less than perfect last night, and she was in the death slot to boot. I think Matt goes and Allison stays, but it could be close.
- Anoop Desai. A lousy slot and a not-very-rabid fan base put him in the bottom three one more time.
I’ll add a fold and spoilers when I watch the show!
Update: Added. With special bonus post-bachelor party hangover!
OK, a day late and way too many dollars short, I’m here with the recap.
Love how they’re pushing Tarantino’s upcoming WWII movie without naming it. It’s Inglorious Basterds. I hope that didn’t burn your eyes!
Our guests tonight are Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson. I’ve never heard Ms. Cyrus, and haven’t heard Ms. Hudson post-Idol except for her lip-synced National Anthem. It was brilliant, but I felt a bit cheated about the lip-sync. Have some confidence, dammit!
Anyway, we get the Ford music video of J. Geils Band’s “Freeze Frame.” It sounds like only boys are singing. And you can get a limited edition American Idol Ford Fusion. I won’t be offended if you quit reading this post in order to rush to the auto dealer.
The group number is “Maniac,” which I’m pretty sure is only liked by anyone for nostalgic reasons. It’s about the worst group number I’ve ever seen, which is saying something.
The cross-promotion this week is for the movie 17 Again. I can’t speak for humanity, but being 17 again is about the last thing I’d ever want. I would take 29, again, though.
They can’t say Inglorious Basterds, but promoting 17 Again with a boner joke is just fine. I don’t understand.
And Zac Ephron, in the audience, is wearing a stupid-looking knit cap. Isn’t it warm in LA? Odds of me seeing the movie are precisely zero.
Here we go with the real deal.
Allison Iraheta is up first, which likely means she’s safe. And she is.
Adam Lambert is sure-fire safe. Like that he defends The Rocky Horror Picture Show because it would be fake if he didn’t. Yep, safe.
I predicted that Anoop Desai would be in the bottom three. Am I right? Yes. I don’t like it but I guess things happen that way.
I predicted he’d survive as well. Will I be right about that? I hope so.
Here comes Jennifer Hudson, who I was a huge fan of when she was on the show.
The song is called “If This Isn’t Love.” Not to be confused with “If it Isn’t Love” by New Edition, unfortunately. It’s a mediocre song if I’m being generous. She’s a brilliant singer though. Get some better material, girl. Material that doesn’t rhyme “love” with “dove.”
Simon says Anoop deserves to be sitting there. I told you on Tuesday that he hated that song.
Kris Allen is next on the chopping block. Simon says Kris was brilliant last night, which is a bit too much, but he was very good.
Lil Rounds is brought into the equation. She doesn’t understand why the judges think she isn’t very good. I do.
There is some justice in this world after all. Lil goes to the bottom three, and Kris takes a seat.
Matt Giraud and Danny Gokey are next. Both of them were terrible, but Gokey’s got a voting base that Matt doesn’t have. It’s not hard to predict how this one goes.
Danny defends his wretched performance. But Matt is the one in the bottom three.
And I’m the king of two-out-of-three.
Going back to the couch is Anoop. Good. He shouldn’t have been there to begin with.
And next on the American Idol Variety Hour is Miley Cyrus, performing “The Climb.” It rhymes “every step I’m taking” with “every move I’m making.” In the words of the entire Internet, epic fail. I’ve never heard her before, but based on this one exposure, I have to confess to sort-of liking her voice. Kinda Stevie Nicks-ish. Maybe she’ll sing better material when she doubles in age.
Moment of truth–who is out?
It’s Matt Giraud. I can’t complain about either or both leaving us, so that’s fine.
We get to hear him slaughtering a bad song again. I guess it may be mercy that I didn’t have to hear Lil slaughtering a good song again.
And they’re saving Matt! Why? Why, why, why? He’ll be gone next week or the week after regardless.
And that’s it for this week! Sorry I was late, and I’ll be on time next week.