American Idol, 2009 – Episode 29 (4/14/09)

Idol LogoGreetings, all.

My usual live blog is going to be late this evening, as I have a can’t-miss appointment and Jason is unable to sub.

This should make up for it, though. I’ve always thought Idol should spin off a show for older contestants. The clip below, from another Simon Cowell show, Britain’s Got Talent, demonstrates why this would be a good idea.

Note that they should not ever again try a version with children.

Blogging and spoilers will appear below the fold when I watch the show. Can’t do it central time, but maybe I’ll be in sync with Pacific.

Update: OK, I’m back, so here we go with a semi-live blog.

Tonight’s theme–music from the movies with special guest Quentin Tarantino. He was a lot of fun when he was on the show a few years back, so I’m looking forward to this.

I love how they mention his “new World War II action film” without mentioning the title. If you don’t know, it’s Inglorious Basterds. I know this is a family show, but that’s really prudish.

Allison Iraheta is opening in the death slot, singing “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith (from Armageddon). Oh, no. No, no, no. I love her, but the combination of the song and the slot may well kill her. No, Allison, no!

Time to post my lucky Allison picture. She’s going to need all the luck in the world.

Are you going to survive this mistake?

Are you going to survive this mistake?

I very much like the opening–it sounds conversational, like she’s actually talking to someone. She jumps to the bridge to squeeze as many hooks in as possible, but she’s a bit flat in spots–not compared to most of the competition, but moreso than I’m used to from Allison.

The crowd seems to love it, but that was just OK. She’s going to be in trouble unless there are some real stinkers tonight. I really hope the judges pimp her hard because she’s going to need all of the help she can get.

Paula gets her rave on, thank goodness. Simon thinks she’s the only girl who can win and that she’s getting stronger and more confident by the week. Thanks for the pimpage, judges! I hope it’s enough. I love you Allison, even when you demonstrate that you really are a sixteen-year-old girl.

Ha, ha, ha! Anoop Desai is going to perform “Everything I Do (I Do it For You)” from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.  He’s got to be gunning for the Vote for the Worst crowd with that pick. Is he also gunning to be the new Scott? It’s clear he hasn’t done his homework–Simon hates this song. But to prevent running over like they did last week, only Kara and Randy will be commenting, so he lucks out on that.

Quentin wants him to rough up the chorus, which I think is a terrible idea. I love Quentin Tarantino, but he’s not a singer.

Anoop is making some changes, trying to make it more R&B ballad than rock ballad. It works well enough–certainly makes the song a bit more interesting, and his vocal is very solid. It’s sort of a Meat Loaf version when he gets to the chorus, and believe it or not, I don’t mean that as a bad thing.

He didn’t knock it out of the park, but it was solid. Let’s see what Randy and Kara think!

Randy liked it a lot, and Kara does too–she says Anoop has found his niche, doing pop songs with some soul. Simon is glowering. He really wants to talk about how much he hated that, but he can’t. Too funny.

Adam Lambert is going to perform “Born to be Wild’ (from Easy Rider) with an electronic touch. Adam is never boring.

It’s the Billy Idol version, or it would be if Billy Idol had ever cut this song. He really lays on the pomp in the chorus, then jumps headlong into his metal screech for the second verse and chorus. Loads of drums was a good idea. Great stuff, even though nothing on earth could stop me from being sick to death of the song.

Paula is making her O-face, I think perhaps because she just had an O. Simon loves the vocal but compares it to the Rocky Horror Show. Simon, with Adam, that’s a feature, not a bug. Adam is glam, and glam is Adam. And that’s a good thing.

My fellow Michigander Matt Giraud is next, doing “Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman” by Bryan Adams (again) from Don Juan de Marco. Tarantino must have been really frustrated with the lame songs chosen this week.

It’s a typical overdone Giraud vocal, and the chorus is ultra-boring. The whole thing feels a bit off.  A nice falsetto note at the end is not enough to make it good, but I bet the judges love it.

Randy rips him for trying to do too much with it. Kara thinks his performance sucked the melody out of it, and she’s right. That’s a pleasant surprise.

Danny Gokey is our next contestant, doing “Endless Love.” Yuk. Simon hates this song, too, if I remember right–I think he ripped Lionel Ritchie in person for it once.

The opening is incredibly lame. I think co-blogger Jason is right when he says this guy is only good at choruses. The whole performance stinks to high heaven. Giraud sucking the melody out of the previous song had nothing on this–it’s an overdone, melody-free mess. One of his very worst.

Paula loves it. Time to go to the ENT for an ear-cleaning, Paula.

Simon was bored, although he liked the vocal. Well, he’s half-right.

Kris Allen is doing a song called “Falling Slowly” from a movie called Once. Don’t know the song, don’t know the movie.

It’s a very nice vocal, and he made the right decision to not play an instrument while delivering it. Not a mind-blower, but the best of a bad night (excepting Adam).

Randy thought the vocal was pitchy, but Kara loved it. I realize it wasn’t note-perfect, but it didn’t need to be perfect to be effective. I’m in between them, but closer to Kara.

Lil Rounds is going to sing “The Rose” by Bette Midler. Finally a good song choice. Will Lil finally live up to her potential?

I don’t like the changes she’s making to the melody. “The Rose” is damn near perfect and should not be messed with. When she switches over to a gospel sound, it’s interesting. Not good, but interesting. Why couldn’t Allison have picked this song? It would have been perfect for her.

Ugh. I didn’t like that at all.

Paula sounds positive, but doesn’t actually say anything positive. Simon gets his slam on, big time.

My DVR runs out right as Lil is backtalking. Just as well. I didn’t want to hear her defend that terrible performance. I think I know who’s going to be at the bottom my power rankings this week.

That was one of the worst episodes of American Idol ever. Lame song choices, lame performances, lame everything. Thhhp.

Back later with power rankings, and back tomorrow with results.

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