Welcome to my recap of last night’s episode of AI. I will avoid ranting about how much the judges suck, because it is quite obvious at this point. I should also title this post “Jason Disagrees With Just About Everything That Gordon Wrote Last Night,” and you’ll soon see why. Here we go!
Matt Giraud: Singing “Let’s Get It On,” Matt does pretty well with it. There’s nothing incredibly special about the performance, but it’s decent. However, I couldn’t help but think through the whole thing, “Jack Black was more entertaining when he sang this at the end of ‘High Fidelity.'”
Kris Allen: The faces this guy makes when singing make it incredibly hard to watch him. What’s wrong with his mouth? Kris’s vocals are the same white-bread, soulless snoozefest that we always see from him. On a purely technical level, he sang the song well, but on an entertainment level, he put me right on the Bore Train to Snoozeville.
Scott MacIntyre: Wow, this was a mess! Scott has such a plain, unremarkable voice, and he was nowhere near able to do justice to “You Can’t Hurry Love.” He sounded like an elementary school music teacher. It was bad. I like Scott, though. I’m glad that he made a good joke about his clothes (“Vote for the pink pants!”), because whoever dressed him should be shot.
Megan Joy (what happened to Corkrey?): I was disappointed to hear that Megan was singing Stevie Wonder’s “For Once In my Life.” Anyone who has watched Idol in past seasons knows by now that the judges will destroy you if you even attempt a Stevie Wonder or Whitney Houston song. That’s not to say Megan didn’t deserve what she got. Megan sounds kind of like a retarded person trying to sing like Tony Bennett. However, I still don’t think we’ve seen the last of her.
Anoop Desai: Riding high off of last week’s near perfect performance, Anoop chooses to sing Smokey’s “Ooh Baby, Baby” with mixed results. The majority of the song works pretty well for him, but there are specific parts where his voice sounds thin and reedy when he tries to hit some of the higher notes that the song requires. He just doesn’t have the vocal range and power to pull it off. It was good, but not great. Still, it’s amazing that this is the same guy who brought us the howlingly awful “My Prerogative” a few weeks ago.
Michael Sarver: Good lord, Michael Sarver’s performance of “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” has put even Megan to shame with its awfulness. He can’t keep up with the rhythm, and he sounds exactly as bad as he did last week. Back to the oil rigs!
Lil Rounds: Gordon must have been listening to a completely different performance than me, because all I heard when Lil Rounds did “Heat Wave” was tuneless shouting. Just making your voice loud is not singing. In a category should have been a cake walk for Lil, she instead crashed and burned.
Adam Lambert: This kid’s a genius. He went all out crazy last week on Johnny Cash’s “Ring Of Fire,” so everyone tuned in to see what kind of ridiculously weird interpretation of a Motown song he would do. Instead, he cleans up his look into a classic Elvis style and plays it straight, singing an incredibly restrained version of “The Tracks Of My Tears.” He knows how to work the competition, that’s for sure. No one else came close to him last night.
Danny Gokey: So Smokey Robinson tells you to sing along with the backup singers on “Get Ready.” Then, after the clip is over, Ryan says, “Let’s see if Danny took Smokey’s advice.” No, he did not, basically giving Smokey Robinson a huge slap in the face on national television. Good work, Danny! Danny sang okay, had fun with it, but his goofy, awkward dancing took away from the performance for me. Something tells me that Danny Gokey is David Archuleta’s creepy older brother. Plus, he dissed Smokey!
Allison Iraheta: Allison’s choice of “Papa Was A Rolling Stone” was a great one. I still think that her performance of that Heart song was her shining moment, but she did really well with this one, earning some much-deserved praise from the judges and solidifying her place in the top 9 (hopefully).
So who’s going home this week?
The bottom three will be Scott MacIntyre, Michael Sarver, and Lil Rounds, with Michael getting the boot.
You know I’m right.