Hooray! We are finally, finally at the last of these reality show episodes. Next week–real competition, with real votes! You know, the part of the show I actually enjoy, and that will be a lot more fun to blog about.
My big question right now is, how are they going to stretch this out into two hours? Other questions–will we finally be rid of Tatiana and Nick Mitchell/Normund Gentle? Here comes the live-blog–let’s find out…
Hollywood: The Final Battle
Adding some “sing-offs” this season. Interesting…
Anoop “Noop Dogg” Desai: The judges really seem to like this guy, although we really didn’t see all that much of him. I’m glad to see that they let him through, based on the little I saw.
Von Smith: Here’s what I wrote about him during his first audition:
Oh, no. I smell the stink on this one already. “Over the Rainbow.” When he isn’t screaming, he sounds OK. Mommy, why is this man yelling at me?
Then, in Hollywood week, I wrote:
His facial expression makes it looks like he’s about to kill someone. Simon is ripping him a new one and he deserves it. They let him through anyway, which I don’t understand. Of course, I didn’t understand why they sent him to Hollywood in the first place.
Needless to say I’m not rooting for him. Seems like a nice kid and all, but I don’t like his singing at all.
They are letting him go to the next round! Well, at least his personality doesn’t annoy me…
Cody Sheldon: I liked his audition, don’t think I’ve seen him since. He’s going to face off against…
Alex Wagner-Trugman: I didn’t like him, but I don’t remember the performance.
Cody does some song I don’t know, “Love Remains the Same” by Gavin Rossdale. It’s just OK. It doesn’t sound like his voice is in very good shape and he forces it.
Nice of them to match the geeks who became friends so they get to screw each other!
Alex is doing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me.” I don’t think this is very good either. I’d go for Cody if I had to make a choice.
They send Alex through, and capture all the pain on film. Ryan describes it as uncomfortable and awkward. Which is of course why they set it up this way. Cruelty, for your viewing pleasure.
Adam Lambert: “Effeminate Meat Loaf” was how I described him in earlier posts, so needless to say I’m not a fan. But off he goes to the next round.
Taylor Vaifanua: I dont’ think I’ve seen her since her original tryout, but the snippets they are showing from Hollywood week are making my dog bark crazily. I don’t know what that means, because my dog is not sane. She’s promoted, along with a passel of other girls.
Joanna Pacitti: This is the girl who, despite having a record contract at one point in her past, couldn’t remember the words to any of her songs. She had a second chance at fame on American Idol despite obviously not moving a lot of product her first time around, and she couldn’t be bothered to memorize thirty-second snippets of songs? I would say that disqualifies her on principle.
So moments after putting two good friends through hell together and destroying the joy of one of them on what should be the happiest day of his life, the judges are going to act like they’re all nice and give Joanna another chance? Yes they are.
Kendell Beard: Here’s my Austin girl. She was unimpressive in Hollywood after a good initial audition. She’s through! She loses her shit. Still cute, though.
Jenn Korbee: I predict she doesn’t make it–otherwise, they would have highlighted the husband/wife team going to Hollywood. She’s singing against…
Kristen McNamara: She was the one in the group with the psycho chick. She’s lucky to be this far after that. She ought not get through based on her footwear, some sort of turquoise and brown cowboy boot monstrosity.
And the winner is–[commercial break]–
Hey, Paula’s slamming her fashion sense! Good for Paula! So now I’m an expert on fashion, too.
They send Kristen through, after making her feel like shit. Simon likes Jenn better. I’m inclined to agree, but I don’t feel strongly about it. But you know Simon’s going to be gunning for her from here forward. So that should be fun.
And my prediction about Jenn was spot-on.
Alexis Grace: I’ve written positive things about her, but we hardly saw her after her initial audition. Looks like we’ll be seeing more of her!
Scott MacIntyre: The blind guy. He’s through. I don’t think I’m going to care for him.
Lil Rounds: They’ve been pushing her from the beginning, and what we’ve seen of her has been good. No surprise that she’s through, even though they lamely try to keep us in suspense.
Felicia Barton: Did they ever show her before? I don’t think so. So why show her now when she doesn’t make it?
Ashley Hollister: See “Felicia Barton.”
Devon Baldwin: See “Ashley Hollister.”
Frankie Jordan v. Jesse Langseth: They haven’t shown Jesse before, I don’t think, which probably means Frankie advances.
Oh, Frankie started singing. I could be very wrong about this.
Jesse stinks up the joint, too. But she’s through.
Allison Iraheta: They haven’t shown her before I don’t think, so this is our introduction–she’s through. If the judges love her so much, why didn’t they show her before?
Danny Gokey: No question he’s through. Why bother with the suspense tactics?
Jamar Rogers: He’s almost certainly through as well. From what they’ve shown, he’s steadily improved since his audition.
What? What was the problem there? I don’t get that at all.
Stephen Fowler: He did good day one of Hollywood week, lousy on the last day–he’s the guy who got upset and walked off the stage when he forgot the words.
They’re going to give him another chance.
Nick Mitchell/Normund Gentle: Why is this ass still tormenting me? This needs to be OVER!
I have the feeling it’s not over.
Oh, no. NOOOOOoooooooo!
They cut Jamar Rogers for this?
America, we have the new Sanjaya.
Jackie Tohn: Good singer who annoys me (although not as much as Nick/Normund). She’s through.
Oh, no, here’s Tatiana.
I’m stuck with Nick/Norman for now, but can we at least get rid of her?
My enemies list is shaping up nicely.
Jackie Midkiff: Sing-off. “When a Man Loves a Woman.” Nice performance, but nothing special. Singing against…
Nathaniel Marshall: They’re giving us the human-interest story. He really isn’t a bad singer and he seems like a nice guy, but can you imagine a queen like this winning over massive public support? That”s a bit of a niche market, I would think.
Nathaniel is going through. I wonder how long he’ll last?
Jeanine Vailes: She’s through, even though they’ve never shown her before.
Some other people.
Matt Breitzki v. Michael Sarver: It’s obvious that they set up these face-offs not based on merit, but based on maximizing drama. These are our two “blue collar” guys, so of course they have to face off. Got to fill those demographic slots, but can’t have two people taking up the same one.
Matt does a fine job, but Michael is excellent.
They’re both going through! The cynical technique of pointlessly matching people up for dramatic purposes backfired! But who lost his or her slot for one of them? Of course they don’t say.
And that’s it for the preliminary crap! Voting rounds next week. Finally! Hooray!