Okey dokey, Salt Lake City. Do we finally go to Hollywood next week? I’m not crazy about the Hollywood shows but at least they mean we’re at the door of the real competition.
I’m predicting this will be a good show. Let’s find out if I’m right.
Gentlemen, start your blogging…
Salt Lake City
Oh great, they’re already promoting the human interest story.
Randy is wearing leopardskin boots. Note to cameraman: don’t show those again.
David Osmond: Of the Osmond family. One’s got to think that his family would not have let him try out if he was going to embarrass himself. I bet he’s great.
Oh, and he’s got MS. Even the producers wouldn’t let him embarrass himself in that situation.
“Something Within Me” by Take 6. He’s really good. His biggest disadvantage may be that voters resent that he was born on third base. Well, maybe second base. In scoring position, anyway.
The judges are picking on him pretty hard. I don’t understand why, unless it’s the base thing. But he’s through, and he should be. Good start to the show.
Tara Matthews: This can’t be good. She’s obviously an attention whore, even though she seems to deny it. She says she has ESP. This is going to be very bad.
“One Day I’ll Fly Away.” She’s too nervous to start. I wish she would have stayed nervous. She couldn’t hit a note with a shotgun. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Stop her already!
Bad Singer Montage: What can I say?
Chris Kirkham: His friend wears a funny rabbit suit and he has a Simon shirt and Simon face on a stick. “Roll to Me” by Del Amitri. Good song, but a bad start. They’re giving him another chance.
“Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” No.
What was the point of that?
Now Ryan is telling the contestants to argue with the judges when they say no. Yeah, because that makes great TV. Thanks so much, Ryan.
Frankie Jordan: Nice voice–jazzy sounding. Thanks for the “Frankie Goes to Hollywood” crack, Ryan.
Megan Corkrey: Here’s our human interest story–she just got a divorce. Manipulative montage. Yuk.
“Can’t Help Loving That Man of Mine.” I don’t like this at all, but I think the judges may let her through anyway.
Simon: “One of my favorite auditions.” What am I missing here? She definitely fails the three-hundred pound test–if she weighed three hundred pounds it would have been have been “No,” “No,” “No,” “No.” I think the judges are making a big mistake here.
And we have another human interest story coming up! Stop it, already!
Andrew Gibson: Ringer.
Austin Cisneros: President of his high school class. He looks like Ricky Schroeder, kinda. Isn’t he a Mormon, too (shame on me for assuming everyone in SLC is Mormon.) “When I Look to the Sky” by Train. Don’t know it.
Not bad, but he really overdoes it. If he goes through, he’s likely to get annoying fast.
“It Takes a Village” by Raffi. Raffi? Was this the theme to some documentary by Hillary Clinton? This is much better vocally, but what a corny song.
Probably worth sending him further, and they do.
Taylor Vaifanua: She’s only sixteen? She doesn’t look like it or act like it. “Joyful, Joyful.” A religious song I don’t know. I told you yesterday that lots of churches means lots of good singers! I’m a big fan of her already.
And, coincidentally, a human interest story is…our very last audition of the day! This show has about as much to do with reality as a Michael Moore movie.
Rose Flack: Her dad died when she was 13, so she lives with her best friend’s family. She’s really cute. Oh, I shouldn’t be noticing that when I’m supposed to be crying because her mom died, too.
But she is cute. She needs a new dress, though, although Simon disagrees.
“I Feel the Earth Move” by Carol King. She’s got a real nice voice, although the judges are banging on her a little bit.
All in all, not a bad audition show.
There’s a show tomorrow night, too? Have a little mercy on a poor blogger! My carpal tunnel syndrome is kicking in.
See you tomorrow, I guess!