Oh, man. San Francisco? I thought KC was loaded with the mentally disturbed, but I have the feeling that this is going to be much, much worse. Well–let’s go! Here’s my sort-of live blog.
Tatiana Del Toro: She says “actor” instead of “actress” (pet peeve of mine), she believes in psychics, and she has the laugh of the insane. “Never Loved a Man,” by Aretha Franklin. Shockingly, she’s not horrible. I think Simon smells the crazy on her and wants nothing to do with her. That is the right call.
Oh, no. She’s going on to the next round.
Why, Randy and Paula, why?
Bad Singers Montage: Already?
Dean-Anthony Bradford: Some dude in a messed-up jacket. “Stars” by Simply Red. Interesting choice! My happiness is quickly decimated. Painful, painful vocal. My eardrums are being pierced with an icepick.
Jesus Valenzuela: Boy-band type. Simon doesn’t like him, the ladies do. Voice isn’t bad, but weak. He really shouldn’t go through.
He drags the kids into the room. Sings “Unchained Melody.” Better. He’s not going deep, but at least I don’t want to kill him. That’s something, I guess.
San Francisco is pretty mediocre so far.
Dalton Pao: His gimmick is he does a Rubik’s Cube? I can’t do that, but I can’t sing either, so I don’t go on TV.
“Oh, Baby Baby” by Smoky Robinson. Ringer. Next.
This episode sucks.
Another Bad Singer Montage: Aren’t there any good ones?
Here are some: Love is the Song We Sing: San Francisco Nuggets 1965-1970. No sign of anything like that so far.
Here comes another crazy…
Akilah Golston: Oh, an original song! Great. Baby, your phrasing is bad. Get this nutcase out of here already!
It never stops.
Paula has left. Can I leave?
At this point, I’m looking forward to the commercials more than the singers.
Good Singer Montage: Even the singers they are pushing as good aren’t good. I guess they have to let someone through.
Annie Murdoch: “Summertime.” Oh, for the love of Pete! Atrocious. Get me out of this episode.
Adam Lambert: Musical theater kid. Greeeaaaat. These guys are never annoying. “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Well, if the world needs a new Meat Loaf, this guy should apply for the gig. He’s through. They seem to really like him. I don’t. Add one to the enemies list.
On to the big human interest story. They’re really pushing these this season.
And here it is.
Kai Kalama: His mom has health problems and he takes care of her. “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes.” Nice pick. I don’t like him. This is boring. They’re going to put him through.
Simon agrees with me. Boring. Letting him through anyway.
And this one’s in the book. Thank God. That was a miserable episode.