Alex’s post containing lots of information and photos related to the upcoming Star Trek franchise relaunch with new actors playing the original cast has been one of our most popular. It’s clear that there is a great thirst for information about the film.
I’m generally not the type to obsess about behind-the-scenes stuff. I almost never watch the special features on DVDs, and I don’t read film gossip sites. All I really care about is, “Is the movie any damn good?”
But with this one, I understand. The original Star Trek series is something I have loved for as long as I can remember. These characters are icons. My childhood heroes. I would take it personally if they screwed this up. It would be blasphemy to screw this up.
I think they’re about to screw this up.
The excellent film blogger Dirty Harry continuously rails about the metrosexualization of leading men. I couldn’t agree more. Previous generations had Humphrey Bogart and John Wayne. We have Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon, both fine actors, but does anyone really think they can kick anyone’s ass? OK, Damon was almost convincing in the Bourne series with the help of a lot of fancy camerawork, but he’s no Steve McQueen. Sometimes it seems like Russell Crowe, Mel Gibson, and Bruce Willis are the only leading men left with both an X and Y chromosome, and the youngest of them, Crowe, is in his mid-forties.
Captain Kirk kicks ass. He kicked Klingon ass. He kicked Romulan ass. He kicked Khan’s ass. If he needs to, he’ll break the Prime Directive and kick your ass.
Spock uses logic and the Vulcan nerve pinch to kick ass. Scotty uses engineering to kick ass. Bones can kick ass with a scalpel or a phaser, and then wash down his ass-kicking with a mint julep. Sulu kicked ass with a sword once. Chekov enjoys vodka when he’s done kicking ass.
They had to kick ass. They were exploring the final freaking frontier.
The extra-cantankerous Ace at Ace of Spades HQ, commenting on the picture below, remarks, “Somehow Nimoy and Shatner managed to take that same pose without looking like they’re about to make out.”
Judge for yourself:
Very, very worried.
God, I hope I’m wrong.