One of my Sunday morning pleasures that I am treated to every weekend (sarcasm set to HIGH) is the Country Top 40 Countdown. Through no fault of my own, I am forced to listen to this junk every Sunday since my significant other likes to play it while preparing and drinking her morning coffee. And she wonders why I’m in such a foul mood in the mornings…
Kid Rock’s country/rock/rip-off/abortion “All Summer Long” has become a mainstay on this countdown, and I swear I want to murder someone every time I hear him rhyme the word “things” with the somewhat similar word “things.” But that’s not even the worst of it. Kid Rock can create all the Warren Zevon/Lynyrd Skynyrd Frankenstein hybrids that he likes as long as I never have to hear one song that I was exposed to today on what was otherwise a beautiful Sunday morning.
The song I speak of is by an artist named Justin Moore, and it reminds me of everything I hate about modern country music, farming metaphors, and Sunday mornings. The title of the song is “Back That Thing Up,” a devilishly funny and clever (sarcasm still set to HIGH) take on rapper Juvenile’s “Back That Ass Up.” However, where Juvenile’s song was a straight forward attempt to get a woman to put her butt in his face, Justin Moore apparently wants to clean his song up a little bit and make it about a girl learning to drive a truck on a farm. But the innuendos abound.
My personal favorite of the bunch: “Back that thing up/Throw it in reverse, let daddy load it up.” There those country music artists go again, trying to take a thing as filthy and immoral as anal sex and disguising it as an innocent instructional video on how to handle a piece of farming equipment. Makes me long for the days of David Allan Coe (link is NSFW).
Seriously, this has to be one of the worst songs ever.