The Magic of Rock (and the videos to prove it)

We all know that rock-stars are magical, but did you know that they are also able to manipulate the laws of time and space to their wills? Here are the top five examples of Rock-stars that possess supernatural powers.

1. Kiss

In the 1978 made for TV movie “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park” we were introduced to the source behind the bands power. A red, humming, velvet box which contained four bejeweled talisman of extraterrestrial origin.
kiss talismans “Oh they look like delicious frosted cookies!!”
Watch this horribly edited promo for Kiss’ 1978 Film “Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park” for more information.

“PRETTY MYSTICAL!!!!”

2. ZZ-Top
ZZ top started out your run of the mill Texas, dirty-white-boy blues band with a classic, no frills blues-rock sound. However something interesting happened to the band between 1979 and 1981. They emerged from seclusion sporting both beards, synthesizers, and some of the most amazing super powers the world of rock has ever see. The 1983 release of “Eliminator” and the subsequent music video’s first introduced the world ZZ-Top’s supernatural prowess. In the video for “Legs” ZZ-Top and the “Eliminator” (a cherry red 33 Ford containing three lovely high-heeled vixens) show up to dispense justice, Texas style (makeovers, shopping, and a new car), on behalf of a comely shoe-store clerk and a short order cook.


ZZ Top – “Legs”

In addition to summoning vixens and hot rods, ZZ-top has also been known to: materialize and dematerialize at will, complete 360 rotations of their fuzzy guitars with no hands, and their disembodied heads occupy an orbiting car wash, as seen in the video for “Rough Boy”.

3. Rick Ocasek, lead singer of “The Cars”
Rick Ocasek seems to have only one supernatural trick up his sleeve, but it’s a good one. Although Jesus Christ walked on water to prove to naysayers his divine origin, Rick Ocasek walks on water to the delight of an eclectic group of folks at an afternoon pool party. It’s hard to tell what impresses these people more, the ability to walk on water, or the freakish size of Ric Ocasek’s adam’s apple.

The Cars – Magic (1984)

4. Judas Priest
In the video for Judas Priests “Breaking the Law”, the band holds up a bank, not with guns or knives, but with the sheer power of their unholy sound. The combined guitar power of Glenn Tipton and K.K. Downing forces bank patrons to cover their ears in pain as the full fury of Judas Priest opens a locked bank vault containing the band’s gold record placard. Rob Halford summons super-human strength and bends the jail bars to retrieve the gold record that seems to exhibit strange reflective properties that can destroy surveillance cameras (perhaps this was the reason the gold record was locked up in the first place). Fortunately for the rest of us, Judas Priest has never used this power again, for it could be devastating to the banking industry and the world economy if it were to be used for self serving needs.

Judas Priest – “Breakin’ the Law (1980)”

5. The Darkness
It seems, that rock and roll wizards are only confined to the 70s and 80s, and for many of us, faced with the long drought of rock, hip hop, dance music, country western, maybe there was no place for magic in music anymore. But one band, one band, came charging through the Darkness (pun intended). To show us that the spirit of the supernatural still flows through the veins of Rock.

Allow them to demonstrate as they free their spaceship from an intergalactic squid of some kind, using the sheer power of their Rock!

The Darkness: “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” – 2003

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4 Responses to The Magic of Rock (and the videos to prove it)

  1. Jason Austinite says:

    No one rock band holds nearly as much magical rock power as the greatest band in the world, Tenacious D. With their rock, they burned the light of God into the Devil himself (portrayed by Dave Grohl):

  2. This is an obvious one, but don’t forget “Don’t Come Around Here No More,” where Tom Petty uses his god-like powers to psychologically torture and then cannibalize an underage girl.

    I think that was just the drugs, not the supernatural.
    -Alex

    Alex, as everyone knows, hallucinogenic drugs take you to an alternate reality which is different than, but just as real as, our own. So I say it counts.

    –GW

  3. The Cars may compete with ZZ Top. In “You Might Think,” Ric Ocasek uses his ability to change size and transform into anything (so long as it has a Ric Ocasek head and sunglasses) to stalk a woman, kidnap her and then drop her off a building, and run her over with an automobile when she’s just trying to get some sleep. At the end, he shrinks her, decapitates her, recapitates her, and then drowns her in a bathroom sink. Then he restores himself to normal size and goes about his daily business with no sign of remorse. The rest of the band, who can shrink as well (not sure about the other powers), lecherously watch the whole sordid affair.

  4. […] where the band emancipates slaves and defeats the wolf-headed version of the Minotaur through the magic of rock? Two, I […]

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